i talk, a lot. i make people smile- i make them cry. but i know that i have funny thoughts.
go on, follow my twitter; if you dare.
twitter updates :D

sometimes, just sometimes- you really get on my nerves.
it's just like- pissing me off majorly and i feel like being the biggest bitch and ignoring you. but i can't, and the shit you do just makes me want to just not be social to anybody. ah, fuck life.

i'm in that mood- i just sort of want to put my earphones in and ignored the world- but then i enjoy the fact that people want to talk to me- i just don't feel like talking to them.

I wish I didn't want to rant right now, but I kind of do. My mother's been in a bad mood these past two days and as a girl I know to blame PMS, but can't she just keep it under control?

I have empathy for her- trust me- I know that it hurts, and that it's frustrating and you get annoyed- but if I- and I know I'm a loudmouth- can go a day without biting everybody's face off- then so can you.

But then again, I mean- is it karma? My father did decide to provoke her into telling me off and now he's being bossed around. It shouldn't be funny, but I'm just trying to be sweet- and well, it's obviously not working and I'm being ignored.

Maybe I'm just overthinking things because of lack of sleep.

valentine's day.

you know, i hear about it a lot. it's everywhere. people advertising it, girls endlessly talking and gushing- wondering about the 'guy of their dreams' emerging with the obvious flowers and chocolate. and i mean, i get it- we all hope for love, or you know, a happy ending- but seriously- are we just trying to raise the bar so that no one can reach it?

i've been thinking about these things, and you know- i've come to a simple solution.

don't expect anything.

that's just easily said than done, right ? but then i wish that i could do it- i see all those pictures of cute couples and i'm like, "damn, i want that." but then again, i'm setting myself up. because what if the perfect guy came along and because of all these expectations i overlook him ?

... but then expecting the 'perfect' guy to come along is just contradicting all this.

so you see my dillema ?

okay. just a short one.
i'll do a long v-day related one tomorrow. coolsitch.

i saw this bathing suit i wanted so long ago.
my mother had bought it, and i was so, so, upset because it looked better on her than me today.

so today i went to try it and it looked okay ?
i felt inspired. that's all i'm saying. so yeah, if there's any goal weight i'm aiming for ...
it's to look good in that bathing suit. then i will truly be happy.

my shorts fit better though.
happychappy.

it's been like, a few days since i've started exercising.

is it called a diet ? idk.
i thought i was going to feel sick or something, or at least feel bad. but through the pain of my calves, i've actually found a lot of good things.

like, for one. i do get very hyper after i excercise, i think it's the endorphins ?
and now i'm all jumpy and smiley and i actually do my homework.

yeah, nerdy. ;D

oh, and i grew ladyballs too, you know. because my friend asked me to ask somebody to go laser tagging with us. and i've kind of proposed the idea. now all i have to do is ask. then it'll be settled.

this week's been so good to me.
but it's also been lagging.

hump day tomorrow. ;D

wehey, i feel like writing. that's sort of strange.

not much on the agenda today, i might watch misfits and laze around all day then go shopping.
yeah ? i miss school. i actually miss like, persistent people being around all the time.
i don't know, it's lonely at home.

it feels as if it's actually going to be a good day today, and i just realized that i recorded cherry bomb last night, so i have something to watch.

and my head doesn't hurt, not like yesterday- i honestly felt like i was going to be sick.

i might end up doing something protective today.

oh, and jimmy eat world is beast. seriously.
i can't stop listening to them. <3